The 'Lena' issue

Lena came back from her holiday on Tuesday, brown and smiling and carrying Italian biscuits.  This joyous return lasted for … ooo … about an hour before we the familiar thwacking sound of the filing being rammed home filled the air.  The tan was still there, but the smile was most certainly gone (as were the biscuits, mostly into my belly).

I know I’ll have to speak to her soon as I’m her line-manager and she can barely string two words together without spitting at me.  I need to show I’m a good boss too and helping Lena has to become my priority.  I know that makes sense, but it doesn’t stop me from being really quite nervous.

I’ve been thinking about the best way to approach this.  I feel too new to go wading into something, but equally, I need to nip this in the bud if we’re going to work together.

This morning, for example, I had to ask her about a document she’s compiling for a design competition.  She was texting on her phone and I waited until she’d finished.  She snapped at me, however, that the text she was sending was work-related and showed me the screen of her phone.  I didn’t care whether or not it was personal or work.  I just wanted to know if she’d done something.

My sensitivity is often a problem.  Like when Jeremy yelled at me the other week, I tend to take things to heart.  When Lena snaps at me, I walk away with my tail between my legs.  But I also feel angry and I’m worried that I’ll end up losing my temper with her. I don’t want to be pushed to the point where I confront her when I’m angry.

Right. After working closely with Kate last week, I need to start using some of the inspiration she’s giving me.

I need to approach this with: What Would Kate Do?

And I know that Kate would call a meeting and sit down with her and check that everything is okay.  I know that Kate would resolve this in the blink of an eye.

So why can’t I?  Why is my new job suddenly becoming all about this rude girl?

Tadaa! I bit the bullet and have just sent her a meeting invitation for Thursday afternoon and my stomach is churning already.  But resolve this I must. If I’m going to do a good job here, I must be prepared to take the rough with the smooth.

Watch out Lena: I’m going to make you happy here if it kills me!

Feeling happy!

So, this week I’ve felt a lot happier. I’ve been here for just over two weeks now, and while I’m still definitely the new girl, I’m beginning to relax a bit more.

Last week, getting that telling off, was definitely tricky but then I realised that I have it easy compared to some of my friends who work for tyrannical monsters and, really, he was right.

The diary behaved itself this week.  I didn’t make any major gaffs which I think we all felt better for.  Instead, I worked more closely with Kate, developing a PowerPoint for a talk she’s giving next week, which I really enjoyed. 

As a woman, this is a hard thing to write, but I have had two not-so-good experience with women bosses before.  In my experience, men cope better with having a woman work for them – for lots of them it’s all about status and what’s more of a status than having a Little Secretary.  They also, generally, are well used to having women in subordinate positions because that’s how things have been for trillions of years.

I think that while the majority of female bosses are good, some women struggle to have a decent relationship with their PA for loads of reasons, usually nothing to do with the PA herself and all to do with the pressures of her role. And, on the flip side, sometimes, it’s the PA who finds it difficult simply because men can be easier to establish a working relationship with.  I mean, I’ve no interest in adding to the ‘Women Bosses Are Bitches’ debate, it’s just that, not everyone’s a nice person so, of course, some women aren’t going to be fun to work for. Just like some male bosses are rude, inappropriate or impossible. 

Kate, on the other hand, completely negates all that nonsense. She treats everyone as an equal and brings all that’s good about being a woman to an industry which is notoriously egotistical and male-dominated. She is a damn-good designer, a killer negotiator and tenacious when she wants something but she also uses her emotional intelligence and resolves staff issues with sensitivity. The practice is a 50/50 split between men and women and there is a real family-friendly vibe.  Thanks to Kate.

I’m so pleased I work with someone so inspiring.

Getting to know you...

One of the things you forget when you start a new job is that everyone has a personality.  I mean, when you meet them at the interview, it’s all smiles and ‘JOIN US’, but then when you’re there, after the novelty’s worn off you begin to see the Real Them and sometimes it’s not quite as pretty as you imagined.  Or, vice versa. When you finally begin to relax, will they like what they see?

Yesterday I had a little taster of the other side of Jeremy.  Remember the other week when I gave him the wrong address and he was really lovely about it? Yeah. That was him being nice.  Yesterday, he was late for a meeting because he hadn’t put it in the diary and I didn’t know about it. And somehow that was my fault.

Jeremy has always got one eye on the next project and, as such, his mind is always whirring.  What he forgets is that I can’t read his whirring mind and that while he may be happy putting something into his own diary when he’s at another meeting, if he doesn’t tell me, I really won’t know. 

His previous PA, he tells me, always knew to check with him when he came back from a meeting.  His previous PA knew that he put things in and sometimes forgot to tell her.  His previous PA kept on top of the diary. His previous PA was amazing and brilliant and all the things I apparently am not.

Still smarting from what I think is a misplaced telling-off, I try and turn my frown upside down and look at what I’ve learnt: that Jeremy can sometimes be a bit too direct.  And that I must check with him whenever he comes back from a meeting to make sure our diary is completely up to date.

And I guess, above all, I must try not to take things personally.  I know he was just annoyed.  Yes it was sharp, but it wasn’t necessarily about me. I must focus on listening, learning and not taking things personally.

Apart from that, Lena was on holiday this week and the atmosphere was noticeably lighter.  And, in other news, one of the designers I haven’t met before has just come back from holiday.  He has a nice smile. :)

I've got through the first week!!!

So the stabilisers are off and I’ve done it – my first week as PA to the Directors all on my own!   

It’s been a fabulously … okay week. Jeremy and Kate have been very patient. They have high standards and I’m enjoying their demands: I love being kept on my toes and I certainly won’t be given much chance to slack here!  But it’s so strange being the newbie and I’ve found myself missing the comfy familiarity of my old work friends.  Particularly when I hit my two stomach-sinking issues this week and had no-one to go freak out to. Still, I suppose that’s not such a bad thing when I’m still trying to convince everyone here how wonderfully cool and professional I am.

My two stomach-sinking issues this week have actually turned out to be valuable lessons, although they were both pretty tough love:

1.      Lesson One: Always double-check every detail of every diary entry!

On Tuesday morning I sent Jeremy to an important meeting in completely the wrong part of London.  The company had moved and no-one had updated the contacts database so while I rang up and checked that the meeting was happening, I didn’t double-check the address.  Jeremy was completely fine and reasonable about it, but it felt like a terribly inept start.  As a result, I spent a good chunk of the afternoon checking that all the meeting locations and the meetings themselves were correct for the next few weeks, and updating the database when I found errors.

When I ask the Project Co-ordinator, Lena, when the database was last updated, I faced Lesson Two.

2.      Lesson Two: Not everyone will like you. 

It’s hard when you come from somewhere where you have good friends and colleagues who know, respect and trust you, to go into an environment where you are the stranger. Most people are open to strangers, but some people are wary.  I’m hoping that this is what the situation is with Lena because when I asked her about the database she actually snapped at me.  I’ve not had anyone snap at me at work before and while I didn’t react, it stung.  I’ll have to keep an eye on things next week. It’s tough but I guess this is what comes with being a manager.

Apart from that, the Shared Diary and I are on better terms. While I don’t think I’ll ever prefer this over individual diaries, I can see it makes some sense: everyone can see what everyone is doing so it minimises clashes.  However just now I noticed that someone had put a meeting in with Kate without checking with me first.

I’m sensing that some things are going to have to change round here …

First day on the job!

So it’s my first day and I’ve already boobed: I completely forgot how cool the office is and now I’m totally regretting wearing the heels. 

It’s mid-sized practice consisting of about twenty-five achingly cool people.  And now me.  In my stupid heels.  Why didn’t I pay attention at interview?

The outgoing PA is friendly – she’s off travelling for a year so of course she is.  She takes me around and introduces me to all the Creatives – me clopping around after her like a pit-pony while she glides around in flipflops.  The office is completely open plan apart from a long, glass meeting room on one side. Four long rows of white desks run the width of the central space with Creatives sitting either side in front of their huge Macs.   Most of them say hello.

I am the only PA in the company but there are two other admins who I will be directly managing: a Project Coordinator, Lena, who supports the Creatives and a Receptionist/Finance Assistant, Natalie. Natalie also works alongside the Finance and HR Manager, Tiff, who is on holiday this week.  Worryingly, while everyone else has been quite friendly, these two have appeared a little standoffish. I sense a hint of animosity between them and the outgoing PA which I’ll need to nip in the bud:  I want to start my role with a clean, fresh slate and need to be sure not to absorb other people’s issues during my handover.  I resolve to tackle this next week when I am on my own.

And of course, there are my new bosses: Jeremy and Kate. They’re married with two teenaged daughters and started the company together twenty years ago so they’re very used to working together.  We met at my second interview and seemed to get on well, but you never can tell: even I find myself irritating when I’m nervous …

Jeremy is very tall and comes across as slightly aloof, while Kate is a petite brunette and appears to be the complete opposite: she beams at me constantly and laughs generously when I make a lame, nervous joke.  I am to sit between them.  This will be interesting …

However, within minutes of me being re-introduced, they are both called into a meeting and then I only catch flashes of them for the rest of the day.

It all passes in a blur as I’m taken through the electronic filing system, the marketing library (I am to co-ordinate the marketing too, apparently, which is very exciting!) and the email. I am introduced to the diaries – they run an office wide diary rather than individual ones which will take a little getting used to.

And then it’s 6pm and I’m prepping Jeremy and Kate for their meetings tomorrow, enjoying a surge of confidence and acceptance.  Indeed, I’m feeling so pleased with myself as I switch my computer off, that I find myself thinking: I’m going to like it here.

As I walk towards the stairs, I say goodbye to Lena, the Project Co-ordinator, who’s on her way back to her desk looking harassed and annoyed.  She ignores me.

Whoa there - I've got a new job!!!

My grandmother once told me that the greatest sin is to be late.  She also told me that carrots would give me night-vision and if I pointed at her goldfish one more time it would die, but while those proved to be less reliable words of wisdom, her advice on tardiness has always stuck with me. 

Which is why it’s 8.30am and I am an hour early for my first day.   In a desperate attempt to allay my nerves, I was showered, dressed, redressed, redressed, breakfasted, redressed and on the tube before my alarm had even gone off.  

Because this is a big deal.

I am now, according to my signed contract which is very carefully nestling in my bag, PA to the Directors of a cutting edge creative firm.  It’s a bit of a coup. Since coming to London five years ago, it’s been a fantastic journey.  I started off in a junior admin role in the City where everyone socialised very well on expenses and I developed some great all round skills alongside some enduring friendships and blurred memories.  Then I got serious and, after two years, stepped up into a mid-level PA role for three senior execs who were notorious for their demanding natures.  It was do or die. I clearly ‘did’ because here I am:  a PA to my very own Directors.

Of course, I’m terrified.

While I sit there, nursing my over-priced coffee in the little café around the corner in this unfamiliar part of town, all I can hear is my pesky inner critic reminding me that none of my new colleagues will like me. Agonising over such key questions as: are the heels too much? Would flats have been cooler? And then there’s the loudest voice of all:  the one that’s bleating on about how I’m a terrible PA, and really what was I thinking taking on such a challenging role?

And then, as I’m about to combust with angst, it’s 9.20am and time to shift it. The office is on a side street off the main road.  I stand before its huge wooden doors, my heart in my mouth. I’ve been here for two interviews before, but was then so excited at the prospect of the role that I’d barely taken anything in. Now, I drag the door open. My heart pounding, I climb the stairs and then I emerge straight into the vast, bright, open-plan office and my new life begins …